Optimism v Hope

In the conversation between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu captured in The Book of Joy, they tackle many topics on the subject of joy. One chapter discusses the pitfall of optimism. That optimism can lead to pessimism. This stopped me for a moment; if you have ever been in mediation with me, you may have heard me refer to my own optimism that I bring to the table. After all, how can I be an effective mediator if I don't have a level of optimism in the human capacity to want to bring resolution and peace to their lives? How can I do what I do without genuine optimism in the skills I offer to others in conflict, optimism that I can help them make genuine change? What does this mean about the work I do if optimism can lead to pessimism? That the absence of success through a optimistic lens will eventually make me a pessimist?
I sat with this for a bit. And I cannot deny that this makes sense to me and may reflect challenges I have had working with other mediators. For example, I have served on non-profit boards with mediators. When it came to making decisions as a board, I can describe that experience as frustrating as mediators are not good decision-makers. By our own practice, we don't make decisions for others; we help to guide our clients through a process that empowers them to make their own best decisions. A group of mediators will kick the decision-making can down the road as long as possible. Is it a lack of leadership skills, a fear about the consequences of making a decision, or is it pessimism? We get elected to serve on boards with the optimism that we can make a difference but when we are faced with making hard decisions, we become pessimistic about the process, the intent of others and the commitment we really bring to serving the non-profit. I feel like there should be a joke in here...3 mediators walk into a bar, the bartender asks them what they want, they each turn to the other, no one can make a decision...they leave thirsty. LOL
What is the remedy for optimism? Hope. Yes, hope. According to the Dalai Lama, hope is the antidote to despair. Hope is an outward expression and can spread to others. It is defined as "to wish for a particular event that one considers possible", "to have confidence; trust". At the mediation table I can have confidence in the process that I am facilitating and trust in the human capacity to resolve interpersonal conflicts. With hope, I can support the "possible", to help my client change the narrative of their life into something that brings them hope. It manifests in a positive manner with the outlook of hope; no despair and certainly, no pessimism.
So how might hope help a board full of mediators? If we hope to make a difference, to serve our membership in our trusted capacity as a board member, we can began to trust each other and work towards a shared vision of what is possible. Hope helps us to both consider and take action towards the possible.
I recommend listening to The Book of Joy. It is a delightful conversation as well as inspiring. If you are feeling despair, try looking outward, choose hope and know that hope is the antidote to despair. Try opening your heart to others. You can find joy.