Making Sense of the Chaos

Subtitle: Too Many Files, Note Enough Memory

The Cloud associated with my computer has so many documents and files that it is creating a level of chaos in my life. I try to be organized—to streamline folders and identify them in a way that makes sense. Unfortunately, what made sense then doesn’t necessarily make sense today.
 
Sometimes I feel like my brain is reaching that same level of capacity. I need to add a terabyte—or maybe more—of memory space. There are so many “files” in my head: memories, important day-to-day tasks, skills, life lessons, experiences, and everything else I have collected along the way. It is no wonder that some days I have a hard time making sense of what feels like chaos in my brain.
 
This became particularly clear recently when I was preparing a short speech as an icebreaker for Toastmasters.
 
Twenty-five years ago, I first joined Toastmasters and gave an icebreaker that seemed easy enough to pull together. It gave my new Toasties a good overview of who Sunny was then. I could organize my story into three clear phases and, in just a few minutes, give people a snapshot of my life.
 
Fast-forward a couple of decades and a new Toastmasters club. While I eventually found a way to create my icebreaker, I felt much more challenged by the question: How do I represent who I am today in three to five minutes?
 
Which file of “Sunny” do I pull from?
 
Which phase? Which life experience? Which impactful moments? Which lessons?
It felt overwhelming!
 
And that got me thinking about conflict.
 
Conflict often starts with a single incident. If it isn't addressed, we begin to document and build a file when the difficult behavior continues. Over time, that file can become very full. Eventually, we may feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to approach the situation—or even manage our own reactions to it.
 
The file isn't just full of facts. It is full of experiences, interpretations, and often strong emotions. Those emotions can cloud the facts. And when we try to explain where an interpersonal conflict began, it can be surprisingly difficult to sort through everything that has accumulated.
 
Addressing conflict early is often helpful, but it isn't always appropriate, safe, or easy. Sometimes we need to create some distance before we can even begin to understand what is happening.
 
That is where a third party can help.
 
Whether it is working with a conflict coach or inviting the other person to participate in mediation, a third party can help us sort through the files, separate the facts from the emotions, identify patterns, and bring some order to the chaos.
 
Fortunately, Toastmasters offers comprehensive guides and videos to support effective public speaking. There are outlines and tips for organizing a speech, as well as mentors within the club who can help us figure out what to include and what to leave out.
 
There are also professional organizers who specialize in helping us reduce the chaos in our physical and virtual lives. They help us decide what to keep, what to donate, what to destroy—and, perhaps most importantly, how to find what we need when we need it.
 
I've started doing something similar with my own mental files.
 
I've taken to journaling as a way to create some order in my life. It gives me a place to dump the excess stuff rattling around in my brain and make space for what is important. It has helped me with focus and clarity. More importantly, it gives me a little more sense of control over how I receive and process the endless amount of information coming at me every day.
 
Maybe we all need occasional help organizing our files—whether those files live in the Cloud, on our desks, or inside our heads.