How to Interrupt a Monologue

...but not shut down important conversations
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Yesterday, The New York Times featured an article on what to do when someone won’t stop talking. Most of us don’t need research to validate this—we’ve lived it. It happens in social settings where you find yourself trapped in a one-sided conversation, nodding politely while scanning the room for an exit. It happens at work, too—when a meeting becomes a monologue, input disappears, and people leave feeling frustrated, disengaged, or invisible.

So what can you do in the moment?

Writer Jancee Dunn offers a few simple—and surprisingly effective—ways to take back the conversation:

• Use their name. Hearing our name grabs attention and can naturally create a pause. 
• Own the interruption. Saying “I’m going to jump in for a moment…” removes ambiguity and softens the impact. 
• Lead with “I need…” Try: “I need to add something here” or “I need to pause us for a second.” 
• Exit when needed. A direct “I’ve got to step away” or “I need to connect with someone else” works—no apology required. 

And my add:

• Plan an out. In certain situations, a pre-arranged call from a friend can provide a clean escape. 

In group settings, especially at work, the stakes are higher. When one person dominates, the group loses. A few ways to redirect without escalating:

• Summarize and shift. “So what I’m hearing is…” (pause) “…I’d love to hear others weigh in.” 
• Name the imbalance. “We’re tight on time, and I want to make sure we hear from more voices.” 
• Invite others in. “John, I’m curious what you think.” or “Joan, what’s your take on this?” 

Even better—don’t wait until it happens. Build norms that prevent it. Here are some creative meeting agreements used by teams at companies like Amazon, Google, and Apple include:

• Step up, step back
• ELMO (Enough, Let’s Move On)
• Everyone has a role, official or unofficial
• Manage your own input
  
• +2 rule (wait for two others or two minutes before speaking again)
• Silence break

And sometimes, the lesson hits closer to home.

Recently, I was co-presenting a virtual session with two other facilitators. I was in the flow—locked into my content—and completely missed the cues around me. When I finally looked up, I saw it: panic on their faces. I had gone well over my time. That moment stuck with me.

Since then, I’ve made a few changes: building in intentional pauses, adding time markers to my notes, and—most importantly—looking up more often to read the room. Because monopolizing isn’t always about ego. Sometimes it’s about momentum, anxiety, or losing awareness. And that’s the real takeaway:

We will all encounter the “talker.”
And at times, we will be the talker.

The goal isn’t perfection—it’s awareness, adjustment, and creating space where conversations become shared, not dominated.​

www.nytimes.com/2025/10/24/well/wont-stop-talking-help.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share