Action Creates Action: Finding Your Way Forward

Action Creates Action: Finding Your Way Forward
Recognizing that my current course of action was not producing the outcomes I wanted, it was time to make some different choices. Those choices became Options A, B, and C.
 
Options A and B were entirely new directions. Each had benefits, as well as risks. The success of either option was not entirely within my control. Even if I really, really, really wanted A or B, ultimately, I didn’t have the power to make either one happen.
 
So, I did my homework, prepared myself, and approached each option as though it had already materialized—as though I was already walking that path.
 
Option C was more familiar. It was a path I had been on before but had been trying to move away from. It shared many of the benefits of A and B, while offering greater flexibility, along with its own risks and uncertainties. My basic needs are met. I am mentally stimulated. And each time I exercise Option C, it is only for the short term. Unlike A and B, C allows me to continue doing many of the things I enjoy, both personally and professionally.
 
The biggest downside of C is that it requires me to rely on others for support. I have never liked burdening others with things I view as my responsibility. But sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do! And my family and friends always come through for me. I am fortunate to have such a wonderful support system, especially in absentia.
 
This experience reminded me of something I often see in conflict.
 
When we are faced with a dilemma or conflict, it can be incredibly helpful to step back and look at the situation from a distance. Identifying the real problem or underlying need can help put things into perspective.
 
For me, taking action to create three options gave me a way to evaluate the benefits, risks, and possibilities of each path. More importantly, it illuminated different ways of moving toward my goal.
 
When we are in conflict with another person, it is worth asking:
 
“If things were going well, what would that look like?”
 
That question can help us gain perspective, identify what we really want, create options, and begin exploring different paths.
 
And if Option A doesn’t work out—or doesn’t feel right—we can move to Option B. And then C. And maybe D, E, or F emerge along the way.
 
Knowing what options are available, and continuing to open doors to other possibilities, helps create a sense of control. Remaining an active participant in my life seems to generate more actions.
 
I firmly believe that action creates action.
 
The same is true when negotiating with another person to resolve a conflict. A simple act of offering a solution—something that reduces the space between you and the other person—is an action within your control. It may not result in the other person responding in kind. But making the offer was an action you had control over.
 
Being prepared with an understanding of what you can offer, where you can compromise, and where your boundaries lie gives you choices. Those choices help determine how you proceed—and when you may need to walk away.
 
Right now, I am somewhere between Options B and C. Honestly, because I have had time and perspective, along with feedback from family and friends, I am beginning to see even more options.
 
My goal hasn’t changed. But I am feeling less stressed. Perhaps that is the key to the whole process.
 
Step back. Exhale. Surround yourself with people who love and care about you. Create options. And keep moving forward intentionally.
 
Sometimes, a familiar path may even start to sparkle in ways you didn’t notice before.