Accountability Starts with Showing Up...

... and Doing the Hard Work
When people are tasked with negotiating on behalf of others who have no power or voice, walking away should never be an option. Yet I see it happen repeatedly—with parents navigating co-parenting and with elected officials charged with representing the public. In both cases, the harm falls on those who have no seat at the table.
 
In co-parenting disputes, parents are asked to create plans that primarily affect their children. When they stay in fight mode or refuse to fully engage, it is the children who suffer. The same dynamic plays out when elected officials abandon negotiations or refuse to participate in good faith. Bullying tactics, rigid posturing, and walking away because they dislike the opposing position are not principled acts—they are failures of responsibility.
 
In nearly every other profession, this behavior would have consequences. A businessperson who refuses to negotiate would lose clients. An employee who ignores expectations would be fired. A doctor who withholds care would lose their license. Parents who cannot co-parent safely risk losing custody of their children.

So why is it acceptable for elected officials to shut down the government, disrupt paychecks, and put the country at risk—without accountability? Why do they continue to receive pay and benefits while the people they represent struggle to meet basic needs? The ripple effects of these decisions create fear, instability, and real harm.
 
At the root of this problem is dehumanization. The “other” becomes unworthy, less than, or undeserving of consideration. As a mediator, I have worked with people who view the other side as irredeemable. Yet time and again, I see transformation begin when people talk about their needs and, especially, the impact of the conflict. That process alone can begin to restore humanity and open a path forward.
 
Not every mediation ends with full agreement. But when parties feel heard and understood, they are far more willing to engage in solutions that are workable and sustainable—even when compromise is difficult.
 
Parents and politicians share something critical: they negotiate on behalf of people without a voice. When they cannot see the other side as human, the least they can do is center the people they represent.
 
With parents, I often ask them to talk about their children—sometimes even to bring a photo—so we remember why we are there. Why can’t politicians do the same?
Tell me about all your constituents.
What do they need?
What do you need to move forward?
Where is the overlap?
 
Doing the job means staying at the table. It means negotiating in the best interest of all constituents and honoring the legal and ethical frameworks that govern our democracy.
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Accountability matters. I propose that elected officials be required to remain in negotiations, supported by impartial mediators, until a resolution is reached—especially when decisions are time-sensitive and impact livelihoods. Walking away should carry consequences, including loss of pay, benefits, and voting power.
 
In every other profession, accountability is expected. Our democracy should be no exception.